Labelpalooza

While it's important to understand how diverse sexuality can be, especially since asexuality contains many more facets than ever before imagined, it has brought about the imagined need to slap a label on every possible sexual/romantic/asexual/aromantic orientation. This is a humorous take on the matter. 

The text reads as follows: GREAT, YOU’RE ASEXUAL! HAVE YOU FIGURED OUT WHAT ROMANTIC ORIENTATION YOU ARE YET?! WE ALL HAVE ONE! (KINDA). THAT GUY OVER THERE IS HOMOROMANTIC, HE’S ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE OF THE SAME GENDER, BUT NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY! ISN’T THAT GREAT! BUT IT DOESN’T STOP THERE! IF THAT DOESN’T HELP, YOU CAN SPLIT YOUR CONCEPTS OF ATTRACTION DOWN INTO SMALLER AND SMALLER PARTS UNTIL YOU HAVE A REALLY GOOD IDEA WHAT MAKES YOU TICK, AND, HEY LOOK, A CONVERSATION ABOUT NON-TRADITIONAL INTIMACY MODELS, YOU COMING? SO IT DOESN’T MATTER TO US WHAT YOU DECIDE YOU ARE–THE IMPORTANT BIT IS THAT YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR LABEL FITS AND IS COMFORTABLE, AND IF THE WORDS DON’T WORK YOU SHOULD TOTALLY MAKE SOME UP!!! MAKE UP SOME WORDS! GO ON! IT’S FUN! HERE, TRY SOME PUNS!! HAVE A GOURD! DOES THIS FIT? NO? WELL, HOW ABOUT THESE? DO THESE MODELS SEEM USEFUL? LOOK! I DREWED YOU A GRAPH! AND ANOTHER GRAPH, I DIDN’T LIKE THAT ONE!! YOU ARE THE POINT OF ORIGIN! NOW YOU’RE SPECIAL!! HOORAY! LOOK, HERE’S A RIDICULOUSLY COMPLEX SPIDER CHART! HOW MANY MORE DIMENSIONS DO YOU NEED? I’M UP TO 26! YOU SHOULD SEE IF YOU CAN CHART YOUR ORIENTATIONS TO BOTH MEN AND WOMEN AND POSSIBLY NONBINARY PEOPLE!! HAVE YOU NOT QUESTIONED YOUR GENDER YET, BY THE WAY? GET THEE TO A YADARY! IT’S FUUUUUUUUN! AND WHAT MAKES GENDER ANYWAY? HAVE SOME MORE LABELS…
-Ashley